The wait is over.

Well, it's been 20 years coming for the Rebel county, but for all that, it was hardly a vintage final. Following a first half dominated by the Ulstermen in terms of possession if not on the scoreboard, Cork clawed their way back into contention to eventually ran out one-point winners over Down. But not for the first time this summer it was the disappointment of ugly scenes at the death which will dominate headlines. The GAA immediately suspended Meath referee David Goldrick, pending an investigation.

"These were disgraceful scenes", said GAA president Christy Cooney after the game, "shameful". "It was," he added "unacceptable that a referee of his calibre would allow the game to conclude the way it did". A senior Croke Park official, abandoning the presentation ceremony after the game in protest at what he had witnessed suggested that Goldrick's refereeing days were over. "That f***ing gobs***e won't f***ing ref a f***ing under-14s match after that sh**e", he said.

Pat Spillane was in disbelief in the studio. "Juno, to let the game finish like that junowhatimean with Down only one point down juno and to not engineer a free kick inside the forty five, juno... i don't know. He'll have a hard time juno making a case for himself to referee at the juno highest level again junowhatimean". In the wake of such a controversy, he added, it only made sense for the GAA to act decisively and to "award the championship to Kerry immeejitly juno".

The cost of the "lost draw" to the Croke Park coffers is estimated at 3.5 million euro, a figure some people are suggesting the association will attempt - in these recessionary times - to recoup from referee Goldrick. For his part, he was unapologetic after the match, saying that he had had enough of "that rubbish out there", and that he couldn't face coming back again in a couple of weeks "for more of the same aul guff. I don't think any of my refereeing colleagues will be too disappointed not to have to take charge of the likes of these two again this year" he added, not unfairly.

In a complete departure from the norm, Cork fans were not complaining.

This is the first year that two teams met in the final where neither was a provincial champion. This has prompted some quarters to suggest changes to the current "back-door" system. A home-and-away series of matches would take place between Meath, Cork, Dublin and Kerry. The bottom two teams would be eliminated from the championship. The top two would play off against each other, and the loser would be eliminated. The winner would then be eliminated. The move is said to have near universal support from fans, and would be expected to easily garner the 2/3 majority vote required at congress.

Back to you Sile...

Spoon

Dear E, 

i am sorry to have to write to you, but i need your help. You see, recently, i loaned something to Fiona, and now it has gone missing. It is something of great sentimental value to me, and i am concerned that Fi will be distraught if she thinks she has mislaid it. 

I know she can't find it in the house, just from things she has said. I also know that she is getting a little upset and i don't want that. I wonder if you could have a look through your stuff, just on the off chance that it's something that might have accidentally ended up in one of your boxes.

It's a small spoon. Metal, but with an off-white plastic handle. It almost looks like it was filched from Ikea but it was gifted to me by a Tibetan monk i met in Mulligan's in Dublin, and he told me that they don't have Ikea in Tibet. He told me it would make food taste better. I gave it to Fiona so she could apply its magical properties to a yoghurt she took from my house for the train to work one morning. It was an Evia raspberry one. Skinny. She said it was amazing, and tasted much better than one she had eaten the day before with a different spoon. I had already experienced its wonderful properties, and was very happy to be able to share them with someone else.

I've taken this spoon on every trip and holiday i've been on since i got it, some 15 years ago on that rainy, portentous night. I once ate McDonald's chicken nuggets with is and it tasted like real chicken. That was in Amsterdam. Some of my friends said I should donate the spoon to the CSIRO, or that I should try to make money from it, but it was a gift, given in respect and love and i couldn't use that for profit. The monk said that in his country the spoon is an important tool for life, and consequently a very prestigious gift. He told me that in the Tibetan remake of MacGyver, the main character has a spoon instead of a Swiss army-knife. I must say i didn't believe him at the time, but i looked it up on Wikipedia and it's true. Fact. My karmic balance would surely be upset if i tried to benefit from it, like a see-saw with a small kitten on one end and an habitual weight watchers junkie on the other. If i don't get it back, i don't know if i will ever be able to travel again. Or eat Maggi noodles.

Please can you look through your things and see if this spoon unwittingly made the journey with you. I would be eternally grateful to have it back, and i would ring you up every time i see something people have put out for hard waste that i think you could use. Although in Northcote there are a lot of hippies, so you would have to be quick. Like yesterday i saw a broken fan on the street and i immediately thought of you. But when i came home from work someone had taken it. I hope your new house is happier than your last, and that your new flatmates are more understanding of your special needs.

thanks, 

colm

Green issues.

Man cannot live on chickpeas alone.